Varieties of Religion

Taoism: Shit Happens

Hare Krishna: Shit Happens Rama Rama Ding Ding

Hinduism: This Shit Happened Before

Islam: If Shit Happens, Take A Hostage

Zen: What Is The Sound Of Shit Happening?

Buddhism: When Shit Happens, Is It Really Shit?

Confucianism: Confucius Say, "Shit Happens."

7^th Day Adventist: Shit Happens On Saturdays

Protestantism: Shit Won’t Happen If I Work Harder

Catholicism: If Shit Happens, I Deserve It

Jehovah’s Witness: Knock, Knock, "Shit Happens."

Unitarian: What Is This Shit?

Mormon: Shit Happens Again And Again And Again

Judaism: Why Does This Shit Always Happen To Me?

Rastafarianism: Let’s Smoke This Shit.